He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she peed on how many people?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
