Barsexuality is the new black.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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