That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
