Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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