I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
