talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
