i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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