I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
