I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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