im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Too much gin, very little bucket
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
