DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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