just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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