He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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