You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
