I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
