is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
