i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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