You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
