saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
