Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
