Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
