just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
