i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Please don't give away my fajitas
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
