he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
