Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
