and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
