And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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