just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
