Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
