i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
