I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
