Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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