You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He did a backflip because drugs
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize