i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
They took my balls.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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