i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
