That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
