is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
