I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
