the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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