Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
How's work?
Spinning.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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