please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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