69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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