you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
