College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
