he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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