If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
