i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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