duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
