it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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