I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
